i have two moods: touch me don’t touch me
psychoticmist: if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
I would never cheat in a relationship
because that would require two people finding me attractive.
scanda-l: I can barely remember my own cell phone number so don’t expect too much from me.
unluckycharmxo: stingraye: maybe i’m still single because i didn’t forward that chain email to 17 of my closest friends 5 years ago that’ll explain the little girl with no eyes at the end of my bed too
seifukucat: movie theater pickup line: nice legs what time do they get off the back of my fucking chair?
pillory: there’s no better feeling than laying next to the person you love and they don’t know you love them or that you’re in their house again
internetexplorers: girls are so cute too bad they’re soulless devils
fasterfood: f- *looks around* fuck the..*sweats profusely* fuck the..the..the police *SWAT team surrounds and invades my house* sorry SORRY
i think Paulina from danny phantom is the older Trixie tang I wouldn’t be surprised Woah woah woah, that means whA T HEADCANON ACCEPTED Can we please not forget about this? Wait then what if i cannot accept this and..
lunartes: please don’t hold me responsible for anything i said or did from the years 2006-2010
I'm glad I gave blood today, because I know people...
saddumbgirl: idk if you say possesive things like “you’re mine” i get all melty and weird and will probably fall in love with you
haroldisdumb: we could be married and i still wouldnt text u first
coagulates: *thinks about kissin you 300% of the time*